Right, but… my feelings are my own responsibility, you know?
[ including when he’s worried, or anxious, or disappointed. saying ‘don’t worry’ isn’t a magic spell that’ll make it happen, though that would be nice. ]
I am worried, but - I want to be. You’re not making me or anything. And I know your feelings are yours.
[ he gives it a moment more, then pulls his leg back and starts stacking his utensils on top of his bowl for clean up. ]
Um, so don’t worry if I’m worried. You know I overthink.
[ It makes him feel like he's weak and needs it, but he doesn't feel like he needs the accommodation. ]
Besides, I think I would feel better if you talked to me about your family. Like... stories in general. I want to hear that sort of thing, so... banning it... I don't like the idea of that.
[ it takes haiga a beat to react because what was that? huh? what does that mean? what?? huh???
(but it was - cute?? kinda. a little… is flirty the right word? he doesn’t know???? it’s enough to have the butterflies in his stomach act up.)
he doesn’t have it quite together yet when he stumbles after hien, expression fighting between confused and embarrassed and pleased. tossing his stuff and replacing the tray are automatic actions since his brain is still stuck on the last couple of minutes. ]
[ Hien throws away the garbage and puts the trays where they're supposed to go. He watches Haiga follow, so he slows down a little so that he can catch up. ]
We can't limit things like that, because of how conversations work. One topic leads to another all the time.
Well, I do want us to be able to talk about anything.
[ even just the action of one of them slowing down and waiting for the other naturally and without much thought - that fluttering feeling doesn’t stop. he wishes he could hold hien’s hand if only for a moment. ]
But I guess… dancing around it is just as annoying as poking at it constantly…
Hien looks at Haiga a bit, thinking. They're outside and it's not like he's going to announce his relationship to everybody around him. But still, a hug is no big deal for Hien, so he stops walking and hugs Haiga from the front, wrapping his arms around him like he's a giant teddy bear. ]
[ even as his arms come up automatically to hug hien back. overly warm in his arms - and ugh his heart’s trying to jump right out of his chest.
(he’s slightly nervous about people finding out he’s bi, but mostly he doesn’t want anyone to treat them differently. but hien is so nonchalant about this stuff, haiga thinks most people will brush it off.) ]
[ thinking of that first day they met, he totally could have carried hien all the way to the campus clinic. hien’s not short by any means, but he won’t deny there’s a pleased prickle that he’s taller than him. taller = reliable, in a way. ]
Well… I mean… how much do you think I like you? On a scale of 1 to 10.
Hien is quiet. He meant that he looks like the copy paste of anyone out there. Blank face and short black hair is a staple. He's not even as tall as he wants to be. He thinks there's nothing unique about his appearance.
Despite that, Haiga says what he says and it almost makes Hien feel special.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2026-02-27 02:30 am (UTC)[ including when he’s worried, or anxious, or disappointed. saying ‘don’t worry’ isn’t a magic spell that’ll make it happen, though that would be nice. ]
I am worried, but - I want to be. You’re not making me or anything. And I know your feelings are yours.
[ he gives it a moment more, then pulls his leg back and starts stacking his utensils on top of his bowl for clean up. ]
Um, so don’t worry if I’m worried. You know I overthink.
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Date: 2026-02-28 01:19 am (UTC)[ He also starts putting things inside his empty bowl. ]
... Family is a bit of a sore spot for me, but it's not like I'll forbid us from talking about it at all.
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Date: 2026-02-28 04:31 am (UTC)But you could ban the subject. [ even as his face says he wants to know. ] And maybe you should? Or we should, I guess?
[ he stands and picks up his own tray. ]
It doesn’t have to be forever.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-02 01:51 am (UTC)[ It makes him feel like he's weak and needs it, but he doesn't feel like he needs the accommodation. ]
Besides, I think I would feel better if you talked to me about your family. Like... stories in general. I want to hear that sort of thing, so... banning it... I don't like the idea of that.
/2
Date: 2026-03-02 07:44 am (UTC)[ it makes him happy that hien wants to know about his family. his smile stretches from cheek to cheek, unable to hide it. ]
I don’t mind. And you can ask me anything, too.
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Date: 2026-03-02 07:46 am (UTC)But are you sure I shouldn’t at least limit how much I ask about your family? Like, once a week only - that sorta thing.
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Date: 2026-03-03 06:14 pm (UTC)Then he walks to throw his things away. ]
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Date: 2026-03-03 11:42 pm (UTC)(but it was - cute?? kinda. a little… is flirty the right word? he doesn’t know???? it’s enough to have the butterflies in his stomach act up.)
he doesn’t have it quite together yet when he stumbles after hien, expression fighting between confused and embarrassed and pleased. tossing his stuff and replacing the tray are automatic actions since his brain is still stuck on the last couple of minutes. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-04 12:22 am (UTC)We can't limit things like that, because of how conversations work. One topic leads to another all the time.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-04 12:56 am (UTC)[ even just the action of one of them slowing down and waiting for the other naturally and without much thought - that fluttering feeling doesn’t stop. he wishes he could hold hien’s hand if only for a moment. ]
But I guess… dancing around it is just as annoying as poking at it constantly…
no subject
Date: 2026-03-06 03:15 pm (UTC)[ No dancing. No beating around the bush. No constant poking. ]
I prefer just talking about it straightforwardly or just not talking about it at all.
[ Hien leads Haiga out of the cafeteria. The fresh air is nice. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-07 07:03 am (UTC)What about… talking about this stuff while we hug?
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Date: 2026-03-09 06:44 am (UTC)Hien looks at Haiga a bit, thinking. They're outside and it's not like he's going to announce his relationship to everybody around him. But still, a hug is no big deal for Hien, so he stops walking and hugs Haiga from the front, wrapping his arms around him like he's a giant teddy bear. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-09 06:57 am (UTC)[ even as his arms come up automatically to hug hien back. overly warm in his arms - and ugh his heart’s trying to jump right out of his chest.
(he’s slightly nervous about people finding out he’s bi, but mostly he doesn’t want anyone to treat them differently. but hien is so nonchalant about this stuff, haiga thinks most people will brush it off.) ]
… I think you underestimate how much I like you.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-09 07:05 am (UTC)What do you mean?
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Date: 2026-03-09 07:18 am (UTC)Well… I mean… how much do you think I like you? On a scale of 1 to 10.
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Date: 2026-03-09 12:41 pm (UTC)[ Hien looks into his eyes. ]
About 8, at the risk of sounding vain.
[ ok ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-10 12:46 am (UTC)That’s low!!
[ what do you mean calling yourself an 8 is vain… he knew hien was underestimating… man… ]
A 12 at least. 15 is probably more accurate…
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Date: 2026-03-20 03:02 pm (UTC)[ He says, deadpan. But Hien gets where Haiga is coming from and what he's trying to convey. ]
I look like the average person you can pick out on the street.
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Date: 2026-03-21 03:45 am (UTC)But you know… I could pick you out in a crowd. Every single time probably. Because you’re the only one I’d want to see.
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Date: 2026-03-28 02:42 pm (UTC)Hien is quiet. He meant that he looks like the copy paste of anyone out there. Blank face and short black hair is a staple. He's not even as tall as he wants to be. He thinks there's nothing unique about his appearance.
Despite that, Haiga says what he says and it almost makes Hien feel special.
Almost, because— ]
Just call me if you need to find me that bad.
[ He quietly huffs. Baka... ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-29 02:25 am (UTC)his heart is as warm and happy as his smile, as this hug. ]
Maybe a 20. It keeps going up.
[ i keep liking you more. ]
Um… Let’s head back in before I do something stupid.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-31 02:12 am (UTC)[ lol
Hien leads the way back anyway, pulling away from the hug but holding Haiga's hand. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-05 04:07 pm (UTC)Well, obviously I want to.
[ let him set record re: his gay feelings straight. make no mistake.
wait one more thing: ]
But - not out of the blue. That was kinda - look, I wasn’t thinking. I should have asked.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-05 04:59 pm (UTC)[ Hien wouldn't say he's dense, but sometimes he can't fathom it happening. It's fine. He knows what kind of response he'll get if he tells Haiga. ]
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