and they were roommates,

[biconfused]

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FROM THIS THREAD.

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[selfconcept]

It's like the feeling of being aware that it's their cooking in a single bite, right?

[ Because of the comfort. ]

I think that sort of sense would be comforting if you felt safe with them.

[biconfused]

Yeah, you get it. My mom’s beef stew is definitely on the saltier side, but it’s Mom’s so…

[ it’s the best. hien’s right in that he would recognize it from first bite. ]

Hopefully you’ll get to try it some day. That is… uh, if you want to meet my family? I’m want to tell them about you - and us.

[selfconcept]

[ Hien quietly slurp some more noodles, taking his time to think about that question. Introduction to family. Family.

... ]

Already? We just started dating today.

[ His usual expression betrays the anxiety he feels deep down. He doesn't think he's good enough for anyone to judge him. Bottom of the barrel. Useless.

He grabs the bowl and chugs the soup. ]

[biconfused]

[ almost choking on his own food, eyes going wide. ]

N-no, not immediately or anything! It'll be a while - probably. If... when... you figure out I'm the right guy for you.

[ and to an extent, haiga needs to figure out the same. ]

It's just... if that happens, whenever that is, I'd like to tell them. Honestly... the ball is in your court on that one. If you decide no, then... that's that.

[selfconcept]

Tell me that sort of thing when you think it's time.

[ Not when they just started dating. There's a rather rancid feeling in his gut, but he powers through it, ignoring it with the power of spiciness and heat. ]

I don't like thinking that far into the future.

[biconfused]

[ haiga, who comes from a pretty good natured and easygoing family, tilts his head and frowns with worry. to him hien is great, so of course his family will like him - though he doesn’t know how they’ll take the boyfriend thing, but he loves his family and they love him.

he can read hien’s face enough to know something’s wrong and - ah, what should he say? ]

Okay. [ he leans forward over his bowl, concern drawing him closer. ] I… Sorry, are you alright?

[selfconcept]

[ Hien puts his bowl down after chugging the soup. It's empty. ]

... I'm fine. It's not your fault.

[biconfused]

…

[ saying it’s not his fault means haiga was right and something is wrong. or was wrong. maybe hien’s already over it, maybe not. he won’t try to push or anything, but haiga’s always found comfort in words and touch. it’s also the way he offers comfort.

though… probably best if he stops putting his foot in his mouth. ugh.

anyway.

his leg extends enough so their ankles brush under the table and he keeps it there. sorry for what i said. ]

Don’t pull away, please?

[selfconcept]

[ Hien was about to pull his foot back until Haiga says that and he keeps his foot there. He'll never get used to it being a form of comfort, since he's always associated feet touching under the table as something he's not supposed to do.

On the outside, he's the same as ever. ]

... It's just something personal, so don't worry about it.

[biconfused]

Right, but… my feelings are my own responsibility, you know?

[ including when he’s worried, or anxious, or disappointed. saying ‘don’t worry’ isn’t a magic spell that’ll make it happen, though that would be nice. ]

I am worried, but - I want to be. You’re not making me or anything. And I know your feelings are yours.

[ he gives it a moment more, then pulls his leg back and starts stacking his utensils on top of his bowl for clean up. ]

Um, so don’t worry if I’m worried. You know I overthink.

[selfconcept]

And you know I don't think much in comparison.

[ He also starts putting things inside his empty bowl. ]

... Family is a bit of a sore spot for me, but it's not like I'll forbid us from talking about it at all.

[biconfused]

[ he likes that about hien actually… ]

But you could ban the subject. [ even as his face says he wants to know. ] And maybe you should? Or we should, I guess?

[ he stands and picks up his own tray. ]

It doesn’t have to be forever.

[selfconcept]

I... don't want to ban something because of me.

[ It makes him feel like he's weak and needs it, but he doesn't feel like he needs the accommodation. ]

Besides, I think I would feel better if you talked to me about your family. Like... stories in general. I want to hear that sort of thing, so... banning it... I don't like the idea of that.

/2

[biconfused]

Oh.

[ it makes him happy that hien wants to know about his family. his smile stretches from cheek to cheek, unable to hide it. ]

I don’t mind. And you can ask me anything, too.

[biconfused]

[ getting sidetracked by happiness tho, he does a u-turn. ]

But are you sure I shouldn’t at least limit how much I ask about your family? Like, once a week only - that sorta thing.

[selfconcept]

[ Hien gets up so that he can throw his trash out too, but stops to lightly pinch Haiga's nose and lets go.

Then he walks to throw his things away. ]

[biconfused]

[ it takes haiga a beat to react because what was that? huh? what does that mean? what?? huh???

(but it was - cute?? kinda. a little… is flirty the right word? he doesn’t know???? it’s enough to have the butterflies in his stomach act up.)

he doesn’t have it quite together yet when he stumbles after hien, expression fighting between confused and embarrassed and pleased. tossing his stuff and replacing the tray are automatic actions since his brain is still stuck on the last couple of minutes. ]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien throws away the garbage and puts the trays where they're supposed to go. He watches Haiga follow, so he slows down a little so that he can catch up. ]

We can't limit things like that, because of how conversations work. One topic leads to another all the time.

[biconfused]

Well, I do want us to be able to talk about anything.

[ even just the action of one of them slowing down and waiting for the other naturally and without much thought - that fluttering feeling doesn’t stop. he wishes he could hold hien’s hand if only for a moment. ]

But I guess… dancing around it is just as annoying as poking at it constantly…

[selfconcept]

Mm. That's the kind of thing that really annoys me.

[ No dancing. No beating around the bush. No constant poking. ]

I prefer just talking about it straightforwardly or just not talking about it at all.

[ Hien leads Haiga out of the cafeteria. The fresh air is nice. ]

[biconfused]

[ it is nice. this whole day has been incredible actually. breathing next to the one you like is great. ]

What about… talking about this stuff while we hug?

[selfconcept]

[ Please enjoy breathing even without him...

Hien looks at Haiga a bit, thinking. They're outside and it's not like he's going to announce his relationship to everybody around him. But still, a hug is no big deal for Hien, so he stops walking and hugs Haiga from the front, wrapping his arms around him like he's a giant teddy bear. ]

[biconfused]

Eh? Now? Oh -

[ even as his arms come up automatically to hug hien back. overly warm in his arms - and ugh his heart’s trying to jump right out of his chest.

(he’s slightly nervous about people finding out he’s bi, but mostly he doesn’t want anyone to treat them differently. but hien is so nonchalant about this stuff, haiga thinks most people will brush it off.) ]

… I think you underestimate how much I like you.

[selfconcept]

[ His muscles relax when he's hugged back as he finds himself leaning into Haiga some more. It's comfortable. He's comfortable. ]

What do you mean?

[biconfused]

[ thinking of that first day they met, he totally could have carried hien all the way to the campus clinic. hien’s not short by any means, but he won’t deny there’s a pleased prickle that he’s taller than him. taller = reliable, in a way. ]

Well… I mean… how much do you think I like you? On a scale of 1 to 10.